The French man I met at a rooftop sky bar in Indonesia.

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By Nicole Burger

Arriving in Jakarta Indonesia

Solo traveling can be an incredible adventure, filled with new experiences, cultures, and people. That's exactly what happened to me when I visited Jakarta, Indonesia. I met a stranger at a sky bar and fell in love with my life for an evening, over a cosmopolitan and a beer. This is my story as a solo traveler with social anxiety.

When I first arrived in Jakarta, I was immediately struck by the energy and excitement of the city. It was a bustling metropolis, filled with colorful markets, delicious food, and stunning architecture. I spent my days solo exploring the city, visiting museums, and landmarks, and immersing myself in the local culture. However, in doing so, visiting a city so vibrant and alive, it is easy to feel socially anxious and even, alone. My best advice is, it is okay to feel this way, just remind yourself that no one is paying attention to you as much as you think, go all out, enjoy the adventure, and be brave!

Dating app featuring a solo traveler

One evening, I decided to visit a sky bar in the city center, with a man I had matched with on a dating app called Bumble. As I was sipping my cosmopolitan and taking in the stunning views of the Jakarta skyline, he was drinking his beer. He was a tall, stylish, French man, with short dark hair and vigorous brown eyes. We struck up a conversation, and I quickly realized that we had a lot in common. We both loved to travel, enjoyed trying new foods and drinks, and had a passion for the finer things in life. Although I was feeling anxious, as I naturally do, I couldn’t help but notice his calm and confident demeanor. In this way, we were complete opposites, but I was fascinated. As the evening went on, I found myself smoking a cigarette with the French man. I usually vape, but it felt cheap, out-of-place vaping next to him. He lit my cigarette for me and I felt transported to his hometown he so warmly told me about. As a solo traveler, I will tell you that when you meet someone so eccentric, who seems to make you forget about your anxiety. This usually means you're in the midst of an extraordinary moment. Keeping in mind that these moments don’t happen too often when you’ve got social anxiety. These are the moments, as a solo traveler, many search for, but few find.

Midnight Walks

Later that evening we found ourselves walking through the streets of Jakarta sharing another cigarette. As an ex-smoker myself, I couldn't resist the temptation. We exchanged a nod of recognition, and before long, we were in deep conversation. The Frenchman was an enthralling character. He regaled me with tales of his life, and I shared my own stories of what it has been like solo traveling the world and the challenges I've faced with my newfound, social anxiety. As the evening was coming to an end, I couldn’t help but indulge in the anxiety-free moment, the true bliss I felt was immense. If I hadn’t taken the risk regardless of my anxiety, I wouldn’t have had this story to tell.

The inevitable goodbye

Eventually, the evening came to an end, and I had to say goodbye to this man I had just recently met. This experience was a brief reminder of the power of travel bringing people together, regardless of their backgrounds, beliefs, or habits. It was an indication that sometimes, it's the small moments of connection that can make a journey truly memorable, despite the challenges. Taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to incredible adventures and beautiful remembrances. My last piece of advice is, just because you have social anxiety doesn't mean that these sorts of adventures are off the table. Use the 333 method to calm your anxiety, live in the moment, and seize the day. It pays off, trust me.

Do you have a story like this? If you’ve had a similar experience, let us know in the comment section below! We’d love to hear from you!