The Cruel Truth About Holiday Romance.

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By Nicole Burger

Solo doesn’t mean alone

Meeting new people on holiday can be one of life’s most thrilling experiences. Whether at a party, a bar, or even on the beach, something about being in a new environment makes meeting strangers more adventurous and spontaneous. Although, what happens when you have the best evening with these newfound friends, only to never see them again? Whether you want to remain a solo traveler or meet people, form connections, and make memories is your choice. Solo traveling doesn’t mean you are always “alone”; it simply means that the people you meet will come and go and thus you will have company only for a while. In saying this, I also believe you should know that you’re about to embark on a beautiful but sometimes cruel journey, and I’m here to tell you why.

Ticket for one, please

Let me set the scene, you are solo traveling in Bali, Indonesia. You’ve purchased a ticket to go watch a DJ. You chose a trendy beach bar that you’ve seen advertised on the billboards around Bali, perhaps a wonderfully scenic beach club such as Savaya. High-end, great music, views, drinks, and pleasant people, or so you’ve heard. Anyone who’s gone out alone will tell you that the evening is guaranteed to start with an awkward solo entrance. Thus, guiding you directly to the bar to knock back the most potent drink you could find on the happy hour menu. In the hopes of soothing your social anxiety before the evening progresses. This order usually sounds like “double vodka and lime” or “long island ice tea.” Perhaps if you are feeling awfully uncomfortable, “shot of tequila, please!” Looking around, it seems everyone is exceptionally good-looking. The strong drink has succeeded in quieting your social anxiety, the music is banging, and the atmosphere is alive!

First Move

At these events, after the first hour, everyone settles into their new tipsy state of mind. During this time, everyone’s egos, insecurities, and bravado starts to decline. That is when you make your first move! My best advice for meeting new people when you are at an event as a solo traveler is;

#1- Look for a person who is attending the event with a friend. Make sure it is only the two of them. That means you won’t have to try and fit into a new “group” or “click” by yourself.

#2- Look for someone who seems to be lost in the music, who appears to be carefree and having fun.

#3- Exchange a friendly smile from a distance; if the smile is reciprocated, they are likely open to being approached.

#4- After you’ve set your sights on someone and evaluated the situation, walk in their direction and comment on something such as; their outfit or their dance moves. This opens the door to conversation. If they are forthcoming and the conversation is reciprocated, it’s a success! If they seem cold or standoffish, perhaps scout for a new group of people. This could mean they aren’t looking to make new friends. It’s not rejection or negative feedback; it just means that there are probably more suitable people in the crowd.

#5- Ask easy questions such as; “Where are you from,” or “Are you here for holiday or work?” These simple questions usually create space for more banter and will most likely lead to a mutual liking towards one another, meaning; you found a new friend for a while!

The long-lasting Impression

What makes these fleeting connections so unique? It’s the ability to connect with someone from other parts of the world on a deeper level, even if only for a short time. The conversations may be more meaningful and even vulnerable. There’s also a sense of shared adventure and excitement as you explore your new surroundings together. Nevertheless, as much as we may want to hold onto these holiday friendships, the reality is that they often don’t last beyond the trip. Once you return home, the distance and lack of shared experiences can make it challenging to maintain the connection. It’s easy to romanticize these brief encounters, but it’s important to remember that they were a product of unique circumstances. How do you make the most of these fleeting connections?

First and foremost, be present in the moment and enjoy the time you have together.

Don’t worry too much about whether or not you’ll see each other again. Instead, focus on the memories you’re creating and the joy in the moment.

How do I move on?

Ultimately, meeting strangers on holiday can be thrilling and create unforgettable experiences. These encounters will have a profound impact on your life. That right there is the wonderfully cruel journey I mentioned earlier. When you’re saying goodbye to someone you’ve just met on holiday, remember to appreciate the moments you’ve shared and to hold onto the memories that will stay with you long after the goodbye. And who knows? Maybe the universe will bring you together again, in another time and place, to create new memories and connections. I advise you to embrace the moment, enjoy the evening, and cherish the memories you make with these newfound friends and holiday romances.

Have you ever experienced this? Has my five-step rule helped you meet any new people? I love hearing from you, share your story in the comments below!