A Smoothie With Extra Anxiety Please.

Let's blog about it!

by Nicole Burger

Solo Traveling

After recently quitting my job in Taiwan, I decided to go on a holiday to Bali. Before I left, I asked questions like if I quit today, how fast would they be able to replace me? (2 weeks) but that’s beside the point! These questions got me thinking; it’s time for a change, “But where? Bali.” So, I handed in my letter of resignation and got onto the first flight out. Solo traveling is liberating as much as it is terrifying! Besides the occasional loneliness, figuring out what you want to do can be challenging too. I am very indecisive and shy and love canceling my plans last minute. The reality of a solo traveler is it is challenging. Social media colors a beautiful picture that solo travel is easy. However, you will face challenges; let’s talk about them.

Get out of your comfort zone 101

Photos! Be ready to ask anyone around you to take your photo, whether at a glamorous beach bar or various famous monuments. Don’t be shy, ask for a picture, you’re only there once! Breakfast, lunch, and dinner get comfortable enough to dine with yourself or to share a table with four other people who are also by themselves. This can be a pro or con. You’ll either meet new people or forget to enjoy your meal because social anxiety will be all-consuming. Clubs or beach bars, be prepared to stand or sit at the bar for a while. Similar to restaurants, if you are only one person, they usually point you toward the bar. The alternative choice is to make a reservation for a table or a sun bed. I forgot to mention, you can enjoy the second option. However, there is always a minimum spend.

Instagrammable Hot Spots

When we travel, we want to visit all the aesthetically pleasing, Instagramable hot spots. Let me draw the picture of an extrovert with anxiety going to explore these hotspots as a solo traveler. You’ve arrived at this picture-perfect café, and the person you’ve asked has taken your photo; it’s blurry, but you’re too shy to critique their skills, so you politely say, “Yes, it’s fine. Thank you.” Knowing you’ll regret saying this later when you can’t post this blurry picture on IG. You order something random you think you might like on the menu because your social anxiety has kicked in at this stage. It is hard to focus on the ingredients of the smoothie without feeling insecure, shy, or like everyone is watching you. So, you order the smoothie after only reading the first two ingredients, “mango, yogurt,” and then you blanked out. Now you taste all sorts of seeds and infused fruits you never read would be in the smoothie. At this stage, anxiety pushes you to overthink everything, so you start making calculated decisions to try and feel casual in this setting; you take a seat and try to relax.

3 3 3 Rule

Anyone with anxiety will tell you about the 3 3 3 rule, a basic summary; when you feel anxious, name three things you see, three things you hear, and three body parts. This 3 3 3 strategy should distract your mind and stop you from totally spiraling further. Suddenly, you are in this beautiful space repeating to yourself, “neon sign, plants, people, coffee machine, cars, chairs, feet, ears, and fingers.” After this ritual and not feeling the slightest bit more relaxed, at this point sweating through everything you’re wearing, you nervously gulp down your smoothie and flee back home. When anyone asks if you’ve been there, you enthusiastically reply, “Yes, I loved it.” Knowing damn well you almost had a meltdown and no photos to show for it.

Socially Anxious Together

This is a near-perfect depiction of a day in the life of a solo traveler with social anxiety. My best advice is to try the 3 3 3 rule, and if that doesn’t work, remind yourself that no one ever really looks at you as much as you feel in that moment of panic. My conclusion, let’s do this together! My fellow socialites with anxiety travelling the world solo. We don’t need to do this alone.

Be brave, embrace the moment, and go for it! I am excited to catch up with you on our next talk.

What's your social anxiety story and does the 3 3 3 rule help you? I love hearing from you, share your story in the comments below!