A Smoothie With Extra Anxiety Please.
Updated: Aug 27
Let's blog about it!
by Nicole Burger
Solo Traveling
After recently quitting my job in Taiwan, I decided to go on a holiday to Bali. Before I left, I asked questions like, “If I quit today, how fast would they be able to replace me?” (Two weeks.) But that’s beside the point!
These questions got me thinking; it’s time for a change. “But where? Bali.” So, I handed in my letter of resignation and got onto the first flight out.
Solo travelling is liberating as much as it is terrifying! Besides the occasional loneliness, figuring out what you want to do can be challenging too. I am very indecisive and shy, and I love cancelling my plans at the last minute.
The reality of being a solo traveller is that it can be challenging. Social media paints a beautiful picture that solo travel is easy. However, you will face challenges. Let’s talk about them.
Get out of your comfort zone 101
Photos! Be ready to ask anyone around you to take your photo, whether you’re at a glamorous beach bar or visiting various famous monuments. Don’t be shy—ask for a picture. You’re only there once!
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner: get comfortable enough to dine with yourself or to share a table with four other people who are also by themselves. This can be a pro or a con. You’ll either meet new people or forget to enjoy your meal because social anxiety will be all-consuming.
Clubs or beach bars: be prepared to stand or sit at the bar for a while. Similar to restaurants, if you’re only one person, they’ll usually point you towards the bar. The alternative is to make a reservation for a table or a sunbed. I forgot to mention—you can enjoy the second option, too. However, there is always a minimum spend.
Instagrammable Hot Spots
When we travel, we want to visit all the aesthetically pleasing, Instagrammable hotspots. Let me paint you a picture of an extrovert with anxiety going to explore these hotspots as a solo traveller.
You’ve arrived at this picture-perfect café, and the person you’ve asked has taken your photo. It’s blurry, but you’re too shy to critique their skills, so you politely say, “Yes, it’s fine. Thank you.” Knowing you’ll regret saying this later when you can’t post this blurry picture on IG.
You order something random that you think you might like from the menu because, by this stage, your social anxiety has kicked in. It’s hard to focus on the ingredients of the smoothie without feeling insecure, shy, or like everyone is watching you. So, you order the smoothie after only reading the first two ingredients: “mango, yogurt,” and then you blanked out.
Now you taste all sorts of seeds and infused fruits that you never read would be in the smoothie. At this stage, anxiety pushes you to overthink everything, so you start making calculated decisions to try and feel casual in this setting. You take a seat and try to relax.
3 3 3 Rule
Anyone with anxiety will tell you about the 3-3-3 rule. A basic summary: when you feel anxious, name three things you see, three things you hear, and three things you can feel with your body. This 3-3-3 strategy should distract your mind and stop you from totally spiralling further.
Suddenly, you’re in this beautiful space, repeating to yourself, “Neon sign, plants, people, coffee machine, cars, chairs, feet, ears, and fingers.” After this ritual, and not feeling the slightest bit more relaxed, you’re now sweating through everything you’re wearing. At this point, you nervously gulp down your smoothie and flee back home.
When anyone asks if you’ve been there, you enthusiastically reply, “Yes, I loved it.” Knowing damn well you almost had a meltdown and have no photos to show for it.
Socially Anxious Together
This is a near-perfect depiction of a day in the life of a solo traveller with social anxiety. My best advice is to try the 3-3-3 rule, and if that doesn’t work, remind yourself that no one ever really looks at you as much as you feel they do in that moment of panic.
My conclusion? Let’s do this together, my fellow socialites with anxiety travelling the world solo. We don’t need to do this alone.
Be brave, embrace the moment, and go for it! I am excited to catch up with you in our next talk.
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